Episode 135: When Halloween Feels Heavy: Simple Tricks to Help
10/29/25
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You are listening to the Life Reconstructed podcast with me, Teresa Amaral Beshwate, grief
expert, best-selling author and widow. I’m so glad you’re here because in this and every
episode, I shine a light on the widowed way forward.
Hello and welcome to episode 135. If the season of trick-or-treat feels mostly tricky, you’re
not alone. Whether you and your person loved Halloween or the visuals everywhere feel like too
much, today I’m sharing simple ways to get through the night—your way.
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Halloween can land hard. Maybe you and your person had traditions—costumes, parties, handing out
candy together. It can put a spotlight on their physical absence. Or maybe the constant visuals—
skeletons, graveyards, death motifs—are just… a lot. If that’s you, nothing is wrong with you.
Your experience is normal, and there are simple tips to help.
First of all, know that there’s no “right” way to do Halloween after loss. There’s only your
way. Give yourself permission to choose what supports your nervous system—and to change your
mind in real time.
Here are some specific options for you to consider. As usual, take what helps, skip the rest.
Permission to opt out
It’s okay to keep the porch light off, put your phone on Do Not Disturb, and choose calm over
costumes. Rest is a wise plan, not a failure.
Make a simple plan—and a backup
Decide now: stay in, go to a friend’s, or run a quiet errand during peak hours. Have a gentle
backup like a drive, a movie, a bath, or an early bedtime. Plans reduce “decision fatigue” when
emotions rise.
Set expectations in advance
Borrow any of these sentences to set expectations for others:
• “I’m laying low this year—thanks for understanding.”
• “I won’t be answering the door tonight, but I hope you have fun!”
• “I may leave early if I need to—no need to worry.”
Minimize hard visuals
If décor or social feeds are triggering, take a different driving route, scroll less this week,
and choose something uplifting to watch. You’re allowed to protect your mind and body.
If you do participate, make it easier
Put candy out with a “Please take one” sign, set a cut-off time, or sit with a supportive friend
who can do the chatting while you smile and wave.
Create a small private ritual
Light a candle. Play your person’s favorite song. Share one happy memory with someone who “gets
it.” Or write them a short note—no rules, just love.
Create calm in your body
Eat a nutritious meal. Drink water. Set a reminder to take five slow breaths on the hour. A
calmer body makes big feelings easier to carry.
Choose connection on your terms
Line up one grief-savvy contact: “If tonight feels heavy, can I text you?” A “Thinking of you”
exchange can be the difference between spiraling and feeling supported.
No matter how you decide to spend the evening, you’re not “doing Halloween wrong.” You’re
tending to yourself in a season that’s different now. That’s wisdom, not avoidance.
If it would help, tell me your plan for Halloween in one sentence. You can send me an email that
says what you’re choosing and what your backup plan is. Know that I’m cheering you on.
If this episode supported you, would you share it with one widowed friend who might need it? And
if you want more practical tools, see the links in the show notes. Remember, I believe in your
and I’m here for you. Take care.
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If you’ve found this podcast helpful, my best-selling book, also called Life Reconstructed, will
help even more. It’s now available on Audible, or in paperback. If you get it in paperback,
you’ll also receive the accompanying journal, and instant access to a 3-part video series that
will help you right away. Links are in the show notes.
https://www.thesuddenwidowcoach.com/lrbonusbundle
https://www.audible.com/pd/B0DRDL949F/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-426818&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_426818_rh_us
