Episode 133: How to Get Clear About Your Future
10/15/25
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You are listening to the Life Reconstructed podcast with me, Teresa Amaral Beshwate, grief
expert, best-selling author and widow. I’m so glad you’re here because in this and every
episode, I shine a light on the widowed way forward.
Hello and welcome to episode 133. After loss, the future can feel like a cliff’s edge—uncertain,
overwhelming, and full of “what ifs.” In today’s episode, I’ll share a simple daily practice
that calms the fear loop and gives you clear next steps to meet your future self. You’ll learn
how to borrow her steadiness, her wisdom, and her love—so you can honor your person while moving
forward with more peace and confidence.
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After loss, it’s so tempting to stare into an uncertain future—taking a mental inventory of
everything you’ll have to navigate, questioning whether you can do it, and waiting for the other
shoe to drop. I did that too. Even when I tried to stay in the present, all those future days
seemed to gang up on me. And when we’re in that place, the brain offers scarcity and fear. It’s
a slippery slope.
I can’t hand you a crystal ball. But I can offer you a powerful, practical way to think about
your future that I wish I’d known in the aftermath of my husband’s passing. It’s useful whether
your loss was last month or many years ago.
The practice: Meet your future self
I want you to imagine a future version of you who is on the other side of the darkest days. No
timestamp needed. Just “beyond the hardest part.”
Picture her as clearly as you can:
The loss is still part of her—but it no longer dominates her life.
She feels a steady, differently-wonderful joy.
There’s a deep peace in her nervous system—and a quiet confidence she didn’t have before.
She knows something essential: she lost her person but not their love. She feels that love every
day. It fuels her.
She has also learned to love herself. She knows now that love is the way forward.
Maybe your future self looks and feels a bit different than what I’m describing. That’s okay.
You get to decide.
Now, spend time with her. This is the practice.
Feel how she feels. Let your body borrow her calm and her steadiness.
Listen to how she thinks. What sentences live in her mind? What beliefs did she grow into?
Ask her questions. She won’t hand you your entire life plan—but she will offer practical next
steps.
Zora Neale Hurston wrote, “There are years that ask questions, and years that answer.” There is
truth in that. And, there’s no reason to wait only for the answering years. You can consult your
future self now.
A guided minute (do this with me)
If it’s safe to do so, close your eyes. If not, soften your gaze.
Take a breath in through your nose… and out through your mouth.
Picture your future self walking toward you. Notice her face. Notice her posture. The way she
moves. Let your shoulders drop. Borrow the way she breathes.
Ask her—silently or out loud:
“What matters most today?”
“What can wait?”
“What is one kind thing I can do for myself in the next hour?”
Pause and listen for one simple answer. It might be very ordinary: drink water, call a friend,
open the mail, take a walk, schedule that appointment. Ordinary steps are what rebuild
meaningful lives.
Now ask: “What do you know about us—about me—that I’ve forgotten?” Let one sentence arrive.
Maybe it’s, “You’re capable.” Or, “We’re safe right now.” Or, “You don’t have to know the whole
path to take the next step.”
Breathe that in. Thank her. And when you’re ready, open your eyes.
Why this works
This practice gently shifts your brain from fear forecasting to resource-gathering. Instead of
scanning for what could go wrong, you’re borrowing wisdom from the version of you who has
already walked through the worst and kept going.
Your future self:
Unhooks “time will heal” myths. Time alone doesn’t heal—what you practice over time does.
Builds self-trust. You prove to yourself, in small ways, that you can act from love rather than
fear.
Creates clarity. Big futures are built from clear next steps taken today.
How to make it a daily habit (5 minutes)
Anchor it. Attach the practice to something you already do—morning coffee, a lunch break, or
bedtime.
Set a tiny timer. Two to five minutes is enough.
Use three prompts:
Future me, what matters most today?
What can wait?
What’s my next kind step?
Write one sentence. Capture the answer in a notebook or your Notes app.
Act immediately. Do the smallest actionable piece within the next hour.
If you miss a day, you’re human. Start again. There’s no finish line in grief, but there is a
way forward.
When fear pops up
Your primitive brain will occasionally vote for hiding: “This is too much. What if we fail? What
if it hurts?” That’s okay. Thank it for trying to keep you safe, and return to your future self.
Ask her, “How would you respond to this fear?” Then take the next kind step.
A closing reminder
You are not required to choose between honoring your person and building a life. Your future
self is proof that both are possible. You lost your person, not their love—and love remains the
way forward.
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If you’ve found this podcast helpful, my best-selling book, also called Life Reconstructed, will
help even more. It’s now available on Audible, or in paperback. If you get it in paperback,
you’ll also receive the accompanying journal, and instant access to a 3-part video series that
will help you right away. Links are in the show notes.
