Why Wait Another Day to Start Feeling Better?Feb 04, 2022
In my conversations with hundreds of widowed people, I often ask what they want for themselves. The most common answers are peace, hope and happiness. Many want to find a way to move forward without the guilt, find strength again and discover identity and purpose. Confidence and clarity are also common desires.
Then I often ask about the obstacles standing in the way of those desires. Hands down the most common response is: “Myself.” This often sounds like:
- I don’t know how to do this.
- I don’t believe in myself.
- I’m so fearful.
- The sadness keeps me stuck.
- I feel too guilty to ever feel peace again.
Greif feels insurmountable, I get it. I remember clearly the feeling of being immersed in complete darkness with no idea how to get out of it. And when I tried to take a step forward, I ran smack into my own biggest obstacle, which was my belief that the length of my misery was a measure of the depth of my love for my husband. In other words, I thought I was supposed to stay stuck because he wasn’t here physically to share my life with. I couldn’t see a way out.
Time, in and of itself, does not heal. The proof is everywhere. You don’t have to look far for comments like, “It’s been 10 years and it hurts like it was yesterday.”
Still, I thought that if I stayed busy long enough, that time would heal. I was wrong.
What I came to learn is what I want to shout from the rooftops: that intentionality heals. By intentionality I mean just 3 steps:
1) Maintaining awareness of our thoughts;
2) Analyzing and deciding which thoughts to believe on purpose and which to stop believing on purpose;
3) Think, feel and act with intention.
If only I had known this when my world stopped turning, my journey would have been entirely different.
- There would have been less suffering,
- I would have known how to process the pain efficiently.
- I could have reconciled all the conflicting thoughts in my brain much more effectively.
- I could have moved forward because of his love, and created the peace and happiness that I know he would have wanted me to feel.
There’s no reason to wait another day, friends. Time, by itself, does not heal. You can start today with those 3 simple steps. What is your brain offering you? Are your thought even true? Do your thoughts serve you? What other true thoughts are both true and useful in helping you step forward and rebuild a life for yourself?
Think those thoughts, today.
If you feel lost in the darkness with no idea which way to turn, I see you. I wish I had the tools I teach today when I needed them most. The good news is that I do have them now and I want to share them with you. They’re all inside my Life Reconstructed program, specifically designed for the widowed journey. If you’re ready to invest in yourself and your healing, simply apply here and we’ll see if it’s a fit.
Learn more about Life Reconstructed.
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