Lynnette's storyFeb 18, 2022
When Lynnette became my client, she was 64 years old and described herself as lonely, and “without her rudder.”
She had just moved into a new house the month prior. She had supportive adult children & grandkids nearby, who she adores, but was craving social connection with others. She felt the need to get out and make friends.
Yet part of her brain said, “I can’t be happy without him.”
She told me that she tried to make good decisions, but sometimes, she just felt so down.
Aside from her kids, most of the people she felt the closest to were in heaven. She told me tearfully that she was avoiding the pain with busyness – finding different reasons to get out of house, but nothing that felt purposeful.
Part of her, she said, would love to meet someone who would love to travel. “I don’t have to have a man in my life,” she said, “but would be nice to have a good friend. It feels good to have someone love you.”
She had a nagging fear of the intense loneliness she often felt.
When I asked her what she wanted for herself, she said she wanted a balanced, purposeful life, “instead of feeling like I’m hiding out because I don’t have other places to go.” She could imagine herself with somebody special, perhaps, and she wanted to have something to look forward to: maybe camping, biking, or kayaking. “I have good health, after all, and I don’t want to miss out on what life has to offer.” And then she reiterated that she wanted companionship.
When I asked what she believed to be her biggest obstacles to getting to that place, she said I’m not exactly sure how to do it, and I’m fearful of actually going and doing it.
Lynnette joined my coaching program and we worked together for 6 months. During that time, she met a widower named Dan. After she had completed my program, I asked her for feedback about the program, and what she felt she had achieved. There was a delay in her response, then just before Christmas I got the following note from her:
So sorry it took so long to get these to you.! In a way, that in and of itself speaks to the success of your program. My life has been rich with so many WONDERFUL activities and I have never been happier!!
Dan and I are getting married the day after Christmas and the two of us couldn't be happier!
I appreciated your ability to ask questions that challenged my thinking when my thoughts were not serving me. I found my own ability to challenge these thoughts, sit with difficult emotions and reduce their impact by facing them head on.
You found me at such a low point and took me to a high point!
Before we met, I went through five grief counselors who just let me talk and didn't help because they never challenged my thinking or helped me look at things from a different perspective. Friends can be a good listener for free, but it takes someone to help us adjust our thinking (especially during the darkest of times) to actually help us not only survive but thrive!
Ultimately it was you who helped me.
I am excited about life again. I feel like I am back to my old self. I am looking forward to starting a new chapter with a wonderful man who loves me, will be a good husband and life partner. He is going to retire at the end of this month and we are looking forward to starting our new lives together.
Teresa, I am so GRATEFUL to you for your help in my life. Dan said he was GRATEFUL to you also. He wanted me to thank you for him. You are more than my coach, you have become a friend.
Lynnette’s story is so special. And yet it’s also very similar to that of my other clients in the following ways:
- When we met, she had goals which she met but then far exceeded.
- She was fearful of difficult emotions, but she learned to face them, feel them and ultimately master them.
- She couldn’t exactly see the “how,” but she was willing to take steps forward.
- She had untrue, unhelpful thoughts that she was willing to challenge.
- She was fearful but she learned how to take action anyway.
And what about you? Where are you now and what do you want for yourself? And what if you allowed yourself to dream even bigger?
It’s possible for you just as it was for Lynnette. If you’re ready to take the first step, simply click here and schedule your free Hope Breakthrough Session and we’ll see if it’s a fit.
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