Episode 162: Navigating Mother’s Day Without Your Person
5/6/26
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You are listening to the Life Reconstructed podcast with me, Teresa Amaral Beshwate, grief
expert, best-selling author and widow. I’m so glad you’re here because in this and every
episode, I shine a light on the widowed way forward.
Hello and welcome to episode 162. Mother’s Day can be unexpectedly painful after the loss of a
spouse—whether you're a mom, stepmom, a dad, or grieving what might have been. In this episode,
I share a simple, practical approach to help you prepare for the day, navigate it with more
ease, and reflect afterward without self-criticism. If this day feels heavy, this is for you.
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Hello and welcome back to the podcast.
Today’s episode is about Mother’s Day here in the U.S.—a day that isn’t often talked about in
the context of grief, but one that can be deeply difficult after the loss of a spouse.
For some, it’s the reminder of not having had the time or the opportunity to have children with
your person.
For stepmoms, it can be the pain of not feeling included in the day.
For moms, your spouse may have played a meaningful role in how the day was once celebrated.
And for widowers, the day can shine an even brighter spotlight on your person’s physical
absence.
All of this happens while the world around you is in full celebration mode—often unaware of the
impact this day can have.
Our not-so-grief-savvy society doesn’t always know to check in.
Doesn’t know what to say.
And often doesn’t even realize that this day can be especially hard.
So today, I want to offer you a simple and practical approach to navigating Mother’s Day.
We’ll break it into three parts: prep, navigating the day, and debrief.
1. Prep: Make a plan—and a backup plan
You don’t have to do what you’ve always done.
You might choose to—and that’s perfectly okay.
But you might also decide to do something completely different this year.
Give yourself permission to choose anew.
Consider your needs—and experiment with how to meet them.
Honoring your needs is a way of honoring your person.
Maybe that means a quick lunch instead of an all-day gathering.
Maybe it means opting out altogether.
There is no right or wrong decision here. Only what’s right for you.
And then—create a backup plan.
Something very low key.
A drive.
Going back to bed.
Sitting outside.
Planting something.
Taking a walk.
Something that tends to your soul and calms your nervous system.
2. Navigating the Day
When the day comes, take it moment by moment.
Draw deep breaths.
Allow yourself to feel however you feel.
If you feel grateful, joyful, or even a sense of peace—let that in. Soak it up.
If you feel sadness, loneliness, or exhaustion—that’s okay, too.
And if you feel a mix of both comfortable and uncomfortable emotions at the same time—that’s not
a problem.
That’s duality.
That’s being human.
However you feel is normal.
And if Plan A starts to feel like too much, go to Plan B.
That’s not failure.
That’s wisdom.
That’s you learning yourself—and learning how to navigate days like this.
3. Debrief the Day
After the day is over, take a few minutes to reflect.
What went well?
What didn’t go so well?
What might you do differently next time?
Maybe you learned that the restaurant was too crowded.
Or that your energy didn’t match what you planned.
That’s okay.
Grieving is learning.
You are a student of this experience.
You’re not supposed to already know how to do this.
And the truth is—every year will feel different.
So every year, there is something new to learn.
A Final Note
Self-criticism prevents learning.
And grieving is both learning and unlearning.
So being hard on yourself has no upside—it will keep you stuck.
Mother’s Day may not be the only significant day this month.
It could be your wedding anniversary.
Your person’s birthday.
Or the date of their passing.
These same principles apply.
And above all—be kind to yourself as you navigate what is likely one of the most challenging
seasons of your life.
Love lives.
And love is the way forward.
If this episode was helpful, please share it with a widowed friend. And remember that I believe in you, and I’m here for you. Take care.
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If you’re listening and thinking, I feel stuck… and I don’t want to stay here, I want you to know you don’t have to figure it out alone.
I offer a limited number of private consultations for those who are considering working with me. We’ll look at where you are, what’s keeping you stuck, and whether my program is the right next step for you. The link is in the show notes.
https://calendly.com/teresabeshwate/complimentary-conversation
