Episode 154: It’s Okay to Opt Out of the News (For Now)
3/11/26
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You are listening to the Life Reconstructed podcast with me, Teresa Amaral Beshwate, grief
expert, best-selling author and widow. I’m so glad you’re here because in this and every
episode, I shine a light on the widowed way forward.
Hello and welcome to episode 154. The news is designed to capture your attention — and often,
it’s the worst of the worst. After the loss of a spouse, your nervous system is already carrying
more than enough. In this episode, I offer a permission slip: it’s okay to opt out of the
constant stream of the news — at least for now. Choosing what you allow into your mind isn’t
selfish or irresponsible. It’s intentional. And it may be one of the kindest things you can do
for yourself.
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Hi there, friends.
Today I’m talking about the news, which for me is a timely topic.
But before we go any further, let me be clear — this is not political commentary.
This isn’t about parties or policies or opinions.
This is about your nervous system.
Your heart.
Your capacity.
It’s about what you allow into your consciousness when you are already navigating life after the
most devastating loss of your life.
The news, by design, is largely the worst of the worst.
It’s crisis.
It’s catastrophe.
It’s conflict.
It’s outrage.
It’s tragedy.
And years ago, you had to intentionally turn it on. You flipped on the television. You opened a
newspaper.
Now?
It comes to you.
It shows up on Facebook.
On Instagram.
In headlines engineered to grab your attention.
In posts that are optimized for engagement.
The social media algorithms are designed to offer you more of whatever you seem interested in.
If you pause for two seconds on a dramatic headline, you’ll see more of it.
If you click, you’ll see even more.
If you share, whether publicly or even in a private message, you’ve told the algorithm, “Yes,
give me more of this.”
And then we scroll.
And scroll.
And scroll.
There’s a reason the term doom scrolling exists.
It’s engineered that way. It’s a habit that can be hard to break, even when the news is
incredibly difficult to see.
Here’s the Notion I Want to Offer You
It’s okay to opt out.
I’m not saying you absolutely should.
I’m saying: consider that it’s an option.
Because not knowing every headline does not mean you don’t care.
It does not mean you’re irresponsible.
It does not mean you’re uninformed in a way that makes you a bad citizen.
It does not mean you’re selfish.
It might simply mean that right now, you do not have the capacity for more negativity.
You do not have the capacity for more dramatic headlines.
You do not have the capacity for more sadness layered on top of your own grief.
And that is not weakness. That’s learning your capacity and making decisions accordingly.
That is wisdom.
Because life after loss is already heavy.
You are already carrying the unthinkable.
Your nervous system is already on alert.
You’re already navigating paperwork, loneliness, anniversaries, triggers, identity shifts,
decision fatigue. Tax prep, shoveling snow and dealing with winter storm damage.
And then we pile on global tragedy….right before bed.
Or first thing in the morning.
And then we wonder why we can’t sleep.
Why we’re anxious.
Why our dreams are more disturbing.
Why we feel on edge.
Is there hunger and suffering and injustice in the world?
Yes.
There always has been.
But consider this:
You knowing about all of it in detail does not reduce it.
It only makes your load heavier.
When my husband passed, I stopped watching the news.
At that time, I was traveling and speaking across the country.
I was in airports.
Hotels.
Cities.
And I still didn’t feel the need to be informed about every current event.
And I didn’t regret that decision.
But then the news found a new doorway — social media.
Driven by algorithms.
It crept back into my consciousness.
And I noticed something.
More rumination.
More being on edge.
Unsettled.
More heaviness at night.
Less sleep, and less quality sleep.
So for me — for now — I’ve deleted the apps.
That’s my choice.
I still care deeply about what’s happening in the world.
I still care about people who are suffering.
I still donate to causes that matter to me.
I still take meaningful action where I can.
But I don’t lay awake replaying headlines.
I have fewer bad dreams.
I have more time.
The time I used to spend scrolling is now spent reading, walking, thinking, creating, being
present.
These are my choices.
They’re right for me.
Just because I don’t know, doesn't mean I don’t care.
Not knowing is not the same as not caring.
This is important.
We often confuse exposure with compassion.
We think if we’re not consuming it, we’re ignoring it.
But there’s a difference between:
• Bearing witness
and
• Flooding your nervous system
You can care.
You can act.
You can donate.
You can vote.
You can serve.
Without immersing yourself in every tragedy.
So I share this with you simply as an invitation.
Even if you’ve always watched the news…
Even if you’ve always considered it your responsibility…
Maybe, just for now, you take a break.
Maybe you limit it to once a week.
Maybe you choose one reliable source instead of a constant stream.
Maybe you delete the apps for a season.
Not forever.
Just for now.
Tend to yourself instead.
Prioritize rest.
Breathe deeper.
Move a little more.
Be more present in your own life.
Your healing matters.
Your nervous system matters.
Your capacity matters.
And if opting out of the news — temporarily or entirely — creates more steadiness, more peace,
more sleep, more presence…
That is not selfish.
That is intentional.
And you already know:
It isn’t time, in and of itself that heals.
But being intentional does. Including what you intentionally allow into your mind.
If this episode was helpful, please share it with a widowed friend. And remember that I believe
in you, and I’m here for you. Take care.
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If you’ve found this podcast helpful, check out my newest book, Time Doesn’t Heal, Why High
Achieving Widowed People Feel Stuck, and How to Rebuild a Meaningful Life. It’s now available
in paperback and Kindle, plus there’s an accompanying journal to help you apply what you learn.
And, join the free course so I can help you even more. Links are in the show notes.
