Episode 152: A birthday wish
2/25/26
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You are listening to the Life Reconstructed podcast with me, Teresa Amaral Beshwate, grief
expert, best-selling author and widow. I’m so glad you’re here because in this and every
episode, I shine a light on the widowed way forward.
Hello and welcome to episode 152. My first birthday after my husband died, I cried through the
entire day.
Thirteen years later, I celebrate.
In this episode, I reflect on what it means to move from merely surviving to being fully alive —
how grief evolves, how joy returns, and why living fully honors both your person and yourself.
I also introduce an organization doing extraordinary work to support widowed people — especially
in the earliest days — and share how you can access their programs or support their mission.
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Hello and welcome back to the podcast.
If you’re listening on the day this episode is released, it’s my birthday.
I most definitely did not celebrate my first birthday after my husband passed. In fact, I cried
my way through the entire day.
But today — 13 years later — I’m celebrating… and I’m inviting you to celebrate with me.
I’m celebrating this day because I am having a birthday.
My friend Kristen was diagnosed with brain cancer when she was, I think, 29 years old. And from
that moment, I promised myself that I would never dread having a birthday — in her honor.
And I’ve kept that promise.
Having a birthday is my privilege.
It comes with the privilege of being alive. I admire older people. I want to be one. I hope I
get to be one.
I’m also celebrating because I’ve figured out how to live again — to be fully alive — and not
merely existing or surviving.
My life — my being fully alive — is the best way I know how to honor my late husband… and
myself.
It’s exactly what he would want for me. I’m certain of it.
For me, being fully alive means I remember with less pain and more joy.
I still laugh at his borderline inappropriate jokes. And the totally inappropriate ones, too.
I set goals for myself that I don’t yet know how to accomplish… and I simply remind myself that
I’m a person who figures things out.
I fail and gather up all the lessons and then I’m a little smarter and then I try again.
Having felt the darkest darkness, I now more fully experience the comfortable feelings this life
offers — joy, happiness, peace, to name a few.
And this one is important…
I have a circle of friends that I would have never met had I not been widowed.
They’re the friends I wish I had never met, in fact — but I love them nonetheless.
You haven’t met all the people who will love you. You’ve probably heard that notion. It’s
certainly not among your early thoughts when your spouse passes. But it is so very true in the
widowed community.
Many of my widowed friends I met through Soaring Spirits International.
Maybe you’ve heard of them. Maybe you’ve benefitted from their many wonderful programs.
I wish I had found them sooner.
They are a nonprofit organization that serves exclusively widowed people. They offer a wide
variety of programs — both in person and virtual — and some are free.
The Newly Widowed Program is one that I love and volunteer with regularly. It’s incredible to me
that within a week of being widowed, a person can join virtually, meet 40 other newly widowed
people, and hear a presenter offer practical tools to help.
And if you haven’t been to Camp Widow — it’s an in-person conference for widowed people, no
actual camping required — and it’s an incredible experience of learning, connecting, and
sharing.
The 2026 lineup is on their website, which I’ve linked in the show notes.
In the past few years, Soaring Spirits has also been on the road training emergency departments,
police, and others to provide more grief-savvy, informed, and practical support to the those who
have just heard the words that no one wants to hear. If you had a rough experience in a hospital
quiet room, you know this need exists.
I’m sharing all of this to encourage you to get familiar with Soaring Spirits International.
And if you’ve ever benefitted from any of their programs — and if you’re able — consider making
a donation to support their good work.
I do. And I know it matters.
Because unfortunately, about 2,800 people will be widowed today — and every single day this year
— in the U.S. alone.
And when the unthinkable happens, Soaring Spirits is already there… already providing important
resources, expertise, and connection.
That’s my birthday wish.
If you’re able, make a small donation — or simply spread the word about Soaring Spirits.
In doing so, you’re helping other widowed people… and preparing the space for those who will be
joining our ranks. Because in the darkest darkness, Soaring Spirits is there, spreading love,
offering support, and shining a light of hope.
If you’re in the Pacific Northwest, consider attending Camp Widow Seattle in April, 2026. I’ll
be speaking and would love to meet you.
And before I sign off — thank you for your support of my new book, Time Doesn’t Heal: Why High
Achieving Widowed People Feel Stuck and How to Rebuild a Meaningful Life.
I’m so grateful for your wonderful response. The Audible version should be coming in early
March. More to come.
If you bought the book, be sure to grab the companion journal, too… and join us inside the Time
Doesn’t Heal community.
That’s where the book truly comes alive.
You’ll get guided meditations, guided exercises, additional journal prompts, video messages from
me, and the ability to connect with other readers.
It will help you apply what you’re learning. Because you know that the learning is in the
application.
There’s lots of support and it’s free — and I’d love for you to join us. The link is in the show
notes.
So that’s it, friends.
I’m off to indulge in a Chocolate Therapy cupcake.
Remember that I believe in you… and I’m here for you.
If this episode was helpful, please share it with a widowed friend. And remember that I believe
in you, and I’m here for you. Take care.
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If you’ve found this podcast helpful, check out my newest book, Time Doesn’t Heal, Why High Achieving Widowed People Feel Stuck, and How to Rebuild a Meaningful Life. It’s now available in paperback and Kindle, plus there’s an accompanying journal to help you apply what you learn. Links are in the show notes.
