Episode 151: When Spiritual Ground Shifts
2/18/26
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You are listening to the Life Reconstructed podcast with me, Teresa Amaral Beshwate, grief
expert, best-selling author and widow. I’m so glad you’re here because in this and every
episode, I shine a light on the widowed way forward.
Hello and welcome to episode 151. The loss of a spouse doesn’t just break the heart—it often
shakes the soul. In this episode, we’re talking about the spiritual shifts that can happen after
loss, whether that looks like questioning long-held beliefs, feeling angry or disconnected, or
being drawn toward meaning in new ways. If your spiritual life feels unfamiliar or fragile right
now, you’re not doing it wrong. This episode will help.
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Hi there, welcome back to the podcast. I’m really glad you’re here today.
This episode is about something we don’t talk about nearly enough after the loss of a spouse:
the spiritual changes that can happen.
Not religion, necessarily—though for some it is.
It’s about the part of you that held meaning, trust, hope, certainty, connection.
The part of you that tried to make sense of life before your person died—and now isn’t so sure
anymore.
For many widowed people, grief doesn’t just break the heart.
It shakes the soul.
When the Spiritual Ground Shifts
In my experience, the loss of a spouse often shifts our spiritual foundation—sometimes quietly,
sometimes violently.
People who were deeply faithful may suddenly find themselves questioning the God they once
trusted without hesitation.
People who never believed in anything beyond the physical world may find themselves drawn to
mystery, or connection, or something they can’t quite name.
And many land somewhere in between—disoriented, unsure, navigating a spiritual landscape that no
longer feels familiar.
Almost every widowed person I’ve met can point to a moment—or a season—when something changed
spiritually.
Sometimes it was a whisper.
Sometimes it was an earthquake.
And if that’s been true for you, I want you to hear this clearly:
You’re not doing it wrong.
When Faith Feels Fragile
One of the hardest parts of spiritual grief is that it can feel unsafe to talk about.
People worry:
“What if this thought means I’m losing my faith?”
“What if I’m being punished for questioning?”
“What if I never find my way back?”
So instead of allowing curiosity, people judge themselves.
But here’s the truth:
It is okay to step back and question everything.
It is okay to feel betrayed.
It is okay to be furious.
It is okay to feel cheated out of the life you signed up for.
It is okay to be angry that prayers didn’t work—for you—when they seemed to work for someone
else.
It is okay to ask:
Why him?
Why us?
Why not someone else? Like, for example, a serial killer?
These questions don’t make you faithless.
They make you human.
I remember sitting at my step-daughter’s high-school football game next to a dad—with a pulse—
who was complaining about having to be there. And I remember thinking, Really, God?
And then immediately feeling guilty for thinking it.
If you’ve had thoughts like that, I want you to know: you’re not alone.
There’s No Right or Wrong Way to Grieve Spiritually
Many of us were conditioned to label spiritual thoughts and emotions as right or wrong.
But that judgment creates shame.
And shame shuts down learning.
And grieving is learning.
I personally had what I can only describe as spiritual temper tantrums.
I was angry. I felt betrayed. I felt like I could no longer trust the God I had relied on since
childhood.
Eventually, I decided we were no longer on speaking terms.
And yet—somewhere deep down—I also knew this:
If a loving parent can stay present while a toddler throws themselves on the floor, then God
could surely do the same for me.
That realization gave me permission to stop policing my spiritual experience.
And I want to offer you that same permission.
Grieving Is Learning—Spiritually, Too
Grief grinds away at the soul.
That’s not a failure. That’s the process.
But loss doesn’t have to make us less—unless we let it shrink us through shame, self-criticism,
or some sort of spiritual suppression.
The work begins with noticing and normalizing whatever is happening inside you spiritually—
without judgment. By that I mean notice it, and remember that it’s all normal.
Because you cannot learn while you are attacking yourself.
From there, gently, over time, we can begin choosing thoughts on purpose.
Not forced beliefs.
Not spiritual bypassing.
But thoughts that are true for you right now.
Thoughts, On Purpose
For me, one of the thoughts I choose on purpose today is this:
My husband was only on loan to me.
He was mine to love in this life.
Mine to walk home.
And yet, I never truly lost him.
Love doesn’t end with death.
Connection doesn’t evaporate.
Our souls remain linked.
I still don’t know why he died.
I won’t have that answer in this life.
But I do know that love lives.
And that’s where I place my focus.
If your loss has changed your spiritual life—softened it, shattered it, complicated it, or
opened it—I want you to know this:
You are not broken.
You are not failing.
You are learning.
There is no timeline.
There is no correct destination.
There is only your honest next step.
Be gentle with your soul.
Let it unfold in its own way.
And remember:
You don’t have to have answers to be moving forward. You’re simply living with the questions.
I created a free download to help you consider how this episode relates to your life. Grab it by
clicking the link in the show notes.
Thank you for being here with me today.
If this episode was helpful, please share it with a widowed friend. And remember that I believe
in you, and I’m here for you. Take care.
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If you’ve found this podcast helpful, check out my newest book, Time Doesn’t Heal, Why High
Achieving Widowed People Feel Stuck, and How to Rebuild a Meaningful Life. It’s now available
in paperback and Kindle, plus there’s an accompanying journal to help you apply what you learn. Links are in the show notes.
