Episode 139: How to Handle Thanksgiving Dread
11/26/25
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You are listening to the Life Reconstructed podcast with me, Teresa Amaral Beshwate, grief
expert, best-selling author and widow. I’m so glad you’re here because in this and every
episode, I shine a light on the widowed way forward.
Hello and welcome to episode 139. In this episode, I’m talking about the dread that can build as
Thanksgiving approaches. Holidays have a way of magnifying absence, and the anticipation alone
can feel overwhelming. I’ll share simple reminders to help you move through the day with more
gentleness and less fear.
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Welcome back to the podcast. If you’re listening as the episode is released, then Thanksgiving
is tomorrow. Which might mean that today, and in recent days and maybe weeks, you’re feeling the
dread. If you’ve noticed yourself bracing, flinching, or anticipating the pain of the holiday,
you are not alone. Today I’ll share some gentle truths and practical reminders to carry with you
into the day.
First, if you’ve found yourself dreading Thanksgiving, I want you to know that you’re normal.
It’s understandable—holidays highlight the empty chair, the missing traditions, the aching
absence of your person. And when you anticipate all of that ahead of time, it can feel
unbearable.
Grief in general, and holiday grief, comes in past, present and future forms. For example….
You’ll miss your shared past. The memories that the two of you hold dear, the inside jokes, and
the Thanksgivings you two treasured the most.
You’ll grieve the future you hoped for. Most people won’t understand that this is part of your
loss. If you experience it, know that it’s normal
You will miss your person’s physical presence. That absence is real. But you can still look for
ways to include and honor them. You might light a candle in their memory, or set a photo in a
special location, or remember them in your mealtime blessing. Say their name out loud, or invite
family to share stories. You could even wear their favorite sweatshirt or flannel shirt as a
quiet comfort. These are all examples of integration - including your person in your
Thanksgiving holiday. There is no one “right” way, though, it’s a matter of doing what’s best
for you this year.
Here are a few things I want you to remember:
Thanksgiving is just one day. Less than 24 waking hours. It will come, and it will go. And the
truth is that you’ve walked through harder days.
You’ll feel uncomfortable emotions—and that’s okay. Sadness, anger, loneliness, longing… they’re
all valid. The more you allow them to exist instead of fighting them, the less terrible they
will feel.
You may also feel comfortable emotions—and that’s okay too. Laughter, warmth, gratitude. Don’t
resist them or make them mean you’ve forgotten your person. Joy and grief can coexist.
Above all, remember this: you are doing your best in a profoundly difficult situation.
Thanksgiving won’t look the same as it once did, and that’s okay. What matters is caring for
yourself gently as you move through it.
If you’re feeling Thanksgiving dread, you’re not doing it wrong—you’re human, and you’re
grieving. Let the day be what it is. Let yourself be how you are. And trust that love will carry
you through: your love for your spouse, their love for you. Love lives.
Thanks for listening to Life Reconstructed. If today’s message helped, please share it with
someone else who may be dreading the holiday. And remember, I believe in you, and I’m here for
you. Take care.
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If you’ve found this podcast helpful, my best-selling book, also called Life Reconstructed, will
help even more. It’s now available on Audible, or in paperback, plus there’s an accompanying journal to help you apply what you learn. Links are in the show notes.
