Episode 138: Don’t use Gratitude Against Yourself
11/19/25
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You are listening to the Life Reconstructed podcast with me, Teresa Amaral Beshwate, grief
expert, best-selling author and widow. I’m so glad you’re here because in this and every
episode, I shine a light on the widowed way forward.
Hello and welcome to episode 138. In this episode, I’m talking about how easy it can be to use
gratitude against yourself, especially as Thanksgiving approaches. Gratitude is important, but
it doesn’t erase the reality of missing your person. You’ll hear why it’s completely okay to be
both grateful and sad at the very same time.
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Hello and welcome back to the podcast. As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday, I want to talk
about something that comes up for many widowed people: gratitude. More specifically, how easy it
is to use gratitude against yourself.
Scissors are a useful tool when used properly. But used incorrectly, they can be a harmful sharp
object. Gratitude is a bit like that.
You may have heard yourself think, “I should be grateful. I have so many blessings. I shouldn’t
feel this sad.” If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And here’s the truth: gratitude and
grief can exist at the very same time.
It’s possible to be extremely blessed and deeply missing your person. One doesn’t cancel the other. You can be grateful for your children, your home, your health—and still ache for the one
who is not here. Both can be true.
When we tell ourselves we shouldn’t feel sad because we’re blessed, we’re layering guilt on top
of grief. We’re telling ourselves that we’re doing it “wrong.” That’s heavy. And it’s
unnecessary.
Instead, try giving yourself permission this Thanksgiving season to feel it all. To laugh around
the table and to cry when the chair is empty. To name your blessings and to name your pain. Both
matter. Both are real. And both belong.
Gratitude doesn’t erase grief, and grief doesn’t erase gratitude. You get to hold them together,
gently, in the same hands.
So, as the holiday approaches, remember: you don’t have to choose one or the other. Be gentle
with yourself. Let love lead the way forward.
Thanks for listening to Life Reconstructed. If today’s message resonated, share it with someone
who needs it. And remember, time doesn’t heal. Intentionality does.
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If you’ve found this podcast helpful, my best-selling book, also called Life Reconstructed, will
help even more. It’s now available on Audible, or in paperback, plus there’s an accompanying
journal to help you apply what you learn. Links are in the show notes.
