Episode 48: Find your people
February 28, 2024
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You are listening to the Life Reconstructed podcast with me, Teresa Amaral Beshwate, grief expert, best-selling author and widow. I’m so glad you’re here because in this and every episode, I shine a light on the widowed way forward.
Hello and welcome to episode 48. In this episode, I share the power of having a grief savvy group of people to support you, and how to find them.
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One of the many things that you least expect when you lose your spouse is that the people who you thought would be there for you….
the people who said they would be there for you….
Are not there. Nowhere to be found. No calls, no texts, no one showing up to help…..only radio silence.
It’s a secondary loss that you don’t see coming. It’s yet another gut punch.
It adds to the isolation, the loneliness.
And for many, the people who are in your life are expecting you to be “better” by now. They attempt to rush you into what they perceive should be the next phase of your healing.
In the most difficult time of life, it becomes necessary to let relationships come to a close. And as for the people still present in your life, it becomes necessary to let them be wrong about you.
And also in the most difficult time of life, it’s crucial that you find your new people.
The ones who get it. Who have walked the journey themselves. The grief savvy people who know how to sit next to you in your pain. Who don’t try to fix you. Who don’t attempt to rush you, or tell you to look on the bright side, or offer you platitudes.
The people who never start a sentence with, “At least….” As in “At least you have your siblings.”
The people who aren’t competing in the grief Olympics.
You know - the people who never start a sentence with, “It’s just like when my dog/parent/sibling died.” No, no it isn’t.
Find your people who see you exactly as you are. The people who can sit with pain and not feel in any way uncomfortable. Find your people who will cheer you on in your smallest of victories. The people who don’t try to find the “right” words, because they know that words often fail.
A group of grief savvy people can make all the difference in your healing.
You’ll have the connection and community you crave. That will help you avoid the isolation so common after the loss of a spouse.
A group offers you the kind of support that leads to greater accountability. Which helps you finally tackle the stack of paperwork, prepare the taxes and call the insurance company.
A grief savvy group can become a source of deep, authentic connections that can last a lifetime.
You can tap the collective wisdom of the group, and share and contribute to others.
You’ll put less pressure on those who genuinely don’t get it, (good for them) and less pressure on yourself to try to help them understand. (Because, after all they can’t possibly understand.)
You’ll feel seen, understood and validated.
We humans aren’t meant to be alone. Not only does the loss of our person make us feel deeply alone, the loss of other connections adds so significantly to the burden.
I urge you to find your new, grief savvy people. Don’t wait.
Grief groups may be helpful for a time. But notice if you feel worse when you leave. That’s how you’ll know that it’s time to find a different group.
Soaring Spirits International has many programs that serve widowed people, including virtual and regional social groups, plus their in-person conference called Camp Widow. Links are in the show notes.
And if you’re ready to take bigger strides in your healing, a group coaching program can help. By way of it being a coaching program, it attracts people who are ready to grow and learn.
People who want more for themselves:
Who want to live a life of purpose and meaning.
Who are ready to find themselves and find ways to honor their person.
Who are unwilling to settle for anything less than a full, beautiful life.
They know that an experienced, widowed coach can get them there faster than any DIY approach.
They know the power of a group of like-minded peers.
And they want a proven, comprehensive, step-by-step way forward. My Life Reconstructed coaching program exclusively for widowed people is just that. A group is starting in just a few days, and the doors close on Thursday, February 29th.
I hope you’ll join us by clicking the link in the show notes. I can’t wait to meet you.
If this episode was helpful, please rate, review and share it with a widowed friend. And remember that I believe in you, and I’m here for you. Take care.
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If you’ve found this podcast helpful, I invite you to join Life Reconstructed, my coaching program exclusively for widowed people. It will help you step forward toward a life you will love again. Simply go to thesuddenwidowcoach.com and click work with me.
