Episode 8 Feelings drive action
Intro with music
Hello and welcome to episode 8. This episode is all about taking action. So if you can’t seem to get yourself to do what you want to do…… or, on the other hand….. if you don’t understand why you do the things you’d rather not be doing….this episode is for you.
Every action you’ve ever taken was fueled by a feeling. Every action (or inaction) you will take today will be prompted by how you are feeling in that moment. Every action you will ever take in the future will be driven by how you feel at the time.
Feelings drive action, for better or worse.
In episode 5 I shared the brain’s response to pain and explained that we often resist, react, or attempt to avoid pain. That explains many actions in life after loss – probably the actions we’d rather not be taking. Which is why in episode 4 I shared how to process a feeling instead. It’s truly a superpower. So refer back to those episodes for more.
It’s also good news that feelings prompt action, because we already know that our thoughts create our feelings and that our thoughts are always within our control. So, if we can think authentic thoughts that generate any feeling, and then feelings prompt action, we have even more control over our lives than we ever thought.
Let’s look to the past to see how this concept is true. Perhaps you have a college degree. You were able to get that degree only because at one point, you believed that you could (thought). That thought created a feeling—maybe you felt motivated.
And from the feeling of motivation, you took lots of actions: attended classes, studied for exams, saw a tutor, wrote papers, completed an internship, and so on. In the end, those actions accumulated and resulted in your degree. You accomplished this goal because you once had a thought that you could do it, resulting in feelings that drove actions.
Now let’s focus on today, and the actions you’d like to be taking. What if you exercised because you actually wanted to? What if you felt excited to take that painting class? What if you were truly motivated to eat healthier meals? All of this—and so much more—is possible when we harness the control we have over our thoughts.
When thinking about the future, you may feel unable to take action. Why? Because you are feeling insecure, uncertain, unsafe, or perhaps incapable. Those are feelings that (like all feelings) are happening due to your thoughts.
These thoughts may or may not be true, but we can say for sure that they are not serving you because they generate a feeling that keeps you stuck. When thinking about the future, it’s essential to find a thought that is completely true for you, which will generate a feeling that prompts the action that you want to take. This process works every time.
So, to summarize,
• Thoughts cause feelings and feelings prompt action or inaction.
• Any action (or inaction) is the result of our feelings at the time.
• Since thoughts are in our control, we can choose thoughts that are true to us and that create feelings that will naturally prompt the actions we want to take.
Think back about an action you have taken in the past. What feeling caused that action?
Think about actions you are taking now. What feelings are prompting these actions?
When you consider actions you want to take in the future, what will you need to feel in order to do so?
Thoughts cause feelings, and feelings prompt action or inaction. And the best news is that thoughts are always 100% optional and infinite. That’s the opportunity for growth, and that’s why inside of Life Reconstructed, my coaching program exclusively for widowed people, we spend lots of time thinking about what we think about. Go to my website, thesuddenwidowcoach.com to learn more. And in the meantime, subscribe to this podcast, and remember that I believe in you and I’m here for you. Take care.