When you feel so very lost

Jan 06, 2023

When your person has passed, it’s quite common to feel incredibly lost. The brain offers the thought, “I’m so lost,” often enough that you start to believe it. It becomes your new, albeit unwanted, identity. And then your brain looks for - and easily finds - more evidence to support the belief.

It’s a snowball effect that leads to being all the more lost.

But just because you think a thought, doesn’t necessarily make it true. Add to that, many thoughts floating around in your brain don’t serve you. In fact, they add unnecessary weight to your already heavy load.

The truth is that thoughts are optional, and there are an infinite number of thoughts available to you. So, when your brain offers you the sentence, “I am so lost,” observe it, and then think a different, true thought on purpose. Perhaps:

I’m learning how to live with this great loss.

It’s trial and error, and I’m figuring it out.

I’m doing my best each day, and that looks different each day.

And then, make a list of all the reasons why you are not lost, and add to and revisit that list often.

When you chose to think true thoughts on purpose, you can exist without unnecessary self-judgement that adds suffering to the already significant pain.

When you refuse to believe the thought, “I’m lost,” and believe instead, “I’m learning,” you will have more access to your direction. It’s far more likely to be revealed to you, one step at a time.

I spent 6 years believing (and proving to myself) that I was lost in my grief. Inside Life Reconstructed, my coaching program for widowed people, I teach you in six months what it took me six years to learn. It’s the most efficient way forward. Simply click below to begin.

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