The decision dilemma: 6 steps to being decisive

May 12, 2023

In life before loss, the two of you had your own way of making decisions. You relied on each other’s knowledge and intuition. And since you shared the decision, you shared ownership of the outcomes.

No matter how you made decisions, it was a process that was familiar, collaborative, and comfortable.

So, it’s not surprising that making decisions after losing a spouse can be paralyzing.

While your former method of decision making is not accessible now, becoming decisive again is a skill that can be learned. And there’s no time like the present since there is no shortage of decisions to be made.

No matter the decision you’re facing, the following six considerations can be tremendously helpful.

  1. List your reasons you would decide yes, and list your reasons you would decide no. Which reasons do you like the most?
  2. Consider that there is no “good” or “bad” decision. Notice that there is a pro and con for any decision you make. When you make a decision, you’re simply choosing one set of pro and con over another.
  3. If your person were here, given the current circumstances, what would he/she say?
  4. Fast forward to a future version of you who has what you currently want for yourself. How would she advise you about the current decision? What moves you toward who you want to be?
  5. Give yourself a timeline to decide. Indecision feels terrible, so it’s better that you decide, one way or the other. Your brain will want to avoid the discomfort of making a decision. Ask yourself what is on the other side of that discomfort.
  6. What is the best- and worst-case scenario? And what if the worst-case scenario is missing out on the best-case scenario?

Using these considerations, you will carefully consider your options, and  then make your decision. Then, make one more important decision: that your choice is the right one for you. In other words, have your own back.

Learning to make decisions is just one part of Life Reconstructed, my coaching program designed exclusively for widowed people. You are just one decision away from creating the life you want for yourself. Simply click below to learn more.

Learn more about Life Reconstructed.

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