The #1 way to lighten your load, today

Nov 18, 2022

Understatement of the century: losing your person is hard.

Unbelievably difficult, in fact. The pain is unprecedented.

Grief is heavy.

And there’s something that adds significantly to the already heavy load: self-judgement.

It often sounds like:

  • At 2 years, I should be able to…..
  • I can’t get motivated to…..
  • At 3 years, I shouldn’t…….
  • I should have been able to.....

It’s as if there is a rule book on how to grieve “properly” in your mind, and you’re always breaking the rules.

Self-judgement adds suffering to the pain of your loss. The good news is that it’s optional. There is an alternative. It’s an easy 2 step process.

Step one: look around at your life. The stack of paperwork on your desk. The dirty dishes. The pile of laundry. Your physical appearance. Your relationships. The leaky faucet. The weeds in the garden. The car maintenance yet to be done.

Take inventory of all of it.

And then say to yourself, “Losing him is exactly this hard.”

And step two, love yourself. Be kind. Speak lovingly to yourself.

(Don’t confuse this with “letting yourself off the hook” or “wallowing” in your grief.)

Kicking yourself doesn’t work.

Loving yourself does.

Take your self-judgement, set it down and walk away from it today. And tomorrow, and the next day.

Love yourself instead.

One way to love yourself is to not do the holidays alone. Instead, surround yourself with people who get it, who can support you like no one else can. This is what we do inside Life Reconstructed, my coaching program exclusively for widowed people. Click below to begin.

Simply click here and we'll see if it's a fit.

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