Four things to know in year 2

If you’re in your second year after losing your spouse, this message is especially for you. Because I think you need even more support now - different support, coming from a relevant source. So here is my note to you, sent with so much love:

You’re in or around your second year after loss, which many people warn is the hardest. Year 2 was eight years ago for me, and with that perspective, there are four things I want you to know.

First, don’t listen to the people who say year two is harder. Your journey is your own, and it simply may not be true for you. Year two is different, and so are you.

Second, be curious, not judgmental. This is still new for you. Eavesdrop on your own thoughts. Do you hear something like, “At this point, I should be XYZ….” Or “I should have this figured out by now?”

Judging the journey isn’t helpful.

Instead, try curious observation, which sounds like, “Okay, it looks like this is what I’ve got today,” or “This is the part when…..” In doing so, you’ll remove a layer of unnecessary suffering.

Because after all, this journey is already tough enough.

Third, give your brain time to understand this unfamiliar territory. Yes, it’s still unfamiliar.

Think about how many days you spent with your person, compared to how many days since he passed. I suspect there is a big difference in those numbers.

Your brain needs time to gain a new understanding of the world without his physical presence. Your understanding will change in this year. You’ll realize it differently.

You can observe the process without judging it.

Finally, be kind to yourself. Notice your own thoughts. Are they kind?

Kicking yourself won’t expedite your journey, in fact, it will slow you down. Ask yourself, what would love say in this moment? What would love do in this moment?

Losing your person is exactly this hard. And it’s true that in many cases, the people who were supporting you in year one may very likely back away now. But you don’t have to do it alone.

I created a coaching program exclusively for widowed people and it’s called Life Reconstructed. It’s the perfect blend of private and group coaching, along with the most life-changing tools that are ideal for this uniquely difficult journey.

If you’re ready to stop merely existing and figure out how to live again, on purpose, simply click below and let’s do this together.

I'm here for you,

Teresa The Sudden Widow Coach