Are you in a holding pattern?

If you’ve ever been on a plane waiting to land, you know exactly what a holding pattern feels like. It’s a series of circles without getting anywhere. Also, there’s the possibility that things could get worse – you may not be able to land at your destination at all. And you can’t help but wonder how much extra fuel is in the tank.

It’s a bit like grieving a spouse. You navigate the early months, and eventually get back to functioning again. But you don’t seem to be making any actual progress.

You wonder if this is all there is.

And worse, you question if things could get worse rather than better.

Your personal fuel tank is nearly empty each day.  

But unlike being on a plane and having no control over the outcome, a grief holding pattern is within your control.

The first step is to be curious: what do you think keeps you in a holding pattern?

• Can you give yourself permission to feel better, to find happiness again?
• Is guilt, regret or anger keeping you stuck?
• Is fear holding you back?
• Have you decided that you simply don’t fit into this world anymore?

Answering those questions will help you understand why you feel the way you do. Then, ask yourself what you want in this chapter of your life. In other words, what’s your ideal destination?

And do you believe that you can get there?

Our thoughts create our reality, for better or worse. Unexamined thoughts create our reality just as intentional thoughts do.

Unique to us humans is our ability to think about what we think about.

If you have found yourself in a holding pattern in your life after loss, ask yourself why. Ask yourself where you want to be instead. Believe in your ability to get there. It starts with a thought.

If you’re struggling to think new thoughts, you’re in the right place. Life Reconstructed, my coaching program exclusively for widowed people, will help you to examine your current thinking, dream bigger and create a life you can love again. Simply click the link below to learn more.